No lies

Ok… So I won’t lie. Yesterday sucked. I’m trying really hard not to care about insignificant things like my hair, but it just doesn’t feel insignificant at all! Ugh.
So….many of you know it’s already falling out… And falling out bad. Thankfully I have no patches yet, but last night I bit the bullet and cut it short. It’s not shaved yet by any means but it’s a lot less devastating seeing short hair fall out than the long strands I had. It’s not even like I haven’t had short hair before; it’s just that I loved my hair long and was happy to keep it that way for good.
I do have a long haired wig now and it’s beautiful. Only problem is that it feels completely foreign. I literally feel like I have a cat sitting on my head.

Ok. Now that I have vented a little I will move on. The good news in all this is it means the chemo is working and destroying the cells it’s suppose to! Yay! A lot of people don’t lose their hair until after the second treatment so I guess I can consider myself lucky.

So thankful

I am so thankful today for all the people who have come into my life and made this battle so much easier for me to fight. I just learned that the people I work with have donated 980 hours of sick time to me so that I won’t lose pay or have to worry about getting all my hours in. The support I have received from my friends, family, and coworkers has been unbelievable. I hate so much that it took this for me to see how truly blessed I am; however, I promise to take this as an opportunity to become a better Brittney. A Brittney who does a better job at not taking all the amazing people in her life for granted.

So many people are fighting this with me. All my friends and family near and far who have spent time worrying about me, praying for me, talking to me, distracting me, and loving me, all my coworkers who are working insane hours to cover for me and still donating time so I can get better without financial stress. I am so thankful for every single one of you and I will beat this just to pay you all back!

Chemo day 3

“If I am rare enough to get this aggressive disease, then I’ll be rare and aggressive enough to beat it” -Brittney,2014.

So Happy this first cycle is over. I don’t have to start cycle 2 until July 1. I just keep telling myself that even though this chemo is making me sick… It’s obviously doing it’s job.

Thanks again for all the prayers and finger crossings everyone!

Keeping positive.

Chemo day 2

Ok. Day 2 was a little rough. Didn’t quite feel like sunshine, but I did get to work for about 5 hours and see/talk/laugh with my friends there which is always fun. I just have to remember that even though this is making me sick… It’s what I have to do to get better. “Chemo is my friend”. Might be that friend you can only stand in small doses and can’t wait to send them packing their bags home after a short stay haha, but no less… Chemo is my friend. Only chance I have at beating this thing… So hears to me sucking it up!

Of course it would happen to me!

So day one of chemo consisted of being hooked up to an iv for 7 1/2 hours ( I should have gotten to clock in with the rest of the staff!)

It was going well. I was having the time of my life torturing Jared into playing games with me (although he was a champ and did it with a smile).

But around hour six my vein decided it didn’t want to play anymore and the chemo leaked into my arm :(. Ouch! I was talking on the phone with Clarkson (from HR) at the time and thought I was going to drop the phone. It literally felt like a fireball going through my veins. Of course I’ve heard of it happening, but it’s usually when you have been doing chemo for a long time and your veins become weak. This doesn’t usually happen on your first chemo experience! Ugh! Now I have a huge knot/bruise on my arm and it sure didn’t feel like sunshine for awhile. The type of chemo that went in tho was probably the best kind that could. It just acted as an irritant ( and irritating it was!) lol other types could have caused necrosis (which means cell death). Yay! I got lucky hahahah. Needless to say Im going to have a port put in my chest to save this from happening again. But I have to finish this cycle first which means 2 poor days through normal veins.

The next 2 days I will only be receiving treatment for 2 hours each so hopefully it won’t be so bad.

In better news. They have me on so many nausea meds that I haven’t gotten sick yet. I actually went to the gym last night! I may or may not have felt like I got hit by a bus when I left my appt but I was motivated to do something that would make me feel like normal Brittney… And it worked. I felt great after I left.

My next chemo appt is at 11. Time to go look for some wigs before then.

Sorry this blog was so long. I’ll try to keep them condensed in the future!

Chemo Day 1

Whelp… This party just got started. Currently hooked up to an iv in my nice little recliner about to start a game of Clue.

If anyone can make chemo fun… It’s gonna be me!

Cancer is exhausting…

4 doctors all in one day! I now apparently have a team in Boston and they are all working with my oncologist in Maine so I can do my treatments closer to home. Also, my Dr in Maine and my Drs in Boston already know each other and are friends so there weren’t any hard feelings about the second opinion thing and everyone is on board with the same treatment plan.

Chemo first, Interval surgery, and then radiation.

The next 8 months isn’t going to be very much fun… But I hope to read a lot of books and play a lot of board games. Anyone who is interested in joining let me know!

Chemo starts at 9am tomorrow.

Goodnight all!

First Appt of the Day Down

Not the best news in the world… I start chemo tomorrow and I will be losing my hair 😦 It won’t happen immediately, but it is most likely happening soon. Grrrrr… O well.. Who wants to go wig shopping with me?!?! 🙂

O ya. And the cancer has spread to my lymph nodes. (Gotta love my priorities!). This isn’t good but it could always be worse, right?

I do have good news tho. They can’t see that it has metastasized to any other organs at least. Although it is possible the cancer may be in other areas that could only be seen with a microscope. Not knowing where to look makes it a little difficult to figure that out so we won’t know unless it continues to progress in those areas. Ideally, the chemo will keep this from happening though.

Now on the way to Boston to see if these world renowned docs have anything more to offer.

Day of truth

Well….This is it. Today should end with me having not one, but two treatment plans. I see my oncologist here in about an hour and then I will leave straight from here and drive to Boston for a second opinion at Mass General.

I will also get the results of my PET scan today so I will walk away knowing where all this awfulness has decided to live inside of my body. I have the cd from the scan and I even looked at it myself, but it’s nothing like Greys Anatomy. It’s not color coded for my easy viewing and understanding. Lol.
I guess reading this gibberish is what Dr’s get paid the big bucks for!

So I have a busy busy day. But I think I found a way to consolidate (found on Pinterest no less!!)

To do list:
1. Beat cancer
2. Live my life!

Sounds easy enough to me… Wish me luck!!!

Radioactive

🎼I’m radioactive, radioactive🎶

I’m sitting in a recliner after being injected with radioactive sugar waiting for it to works it’s way throughout my body. I was told I’m so radioactive right now I wouldn’t be able to make it through airport security! Lol

And now I can’t get the song out of my head!!! And for those of you who know it and are now singing it too… You’re welcome ☺️

I don’t really have much to update today. I have 2 Doctors in Boston that might be looking over my case, but other than that no new news. It’s the never ending poking, prodding, and waiting game. Hopefully we can get this all figured out soon so I can start a treatment plan. I’m ready to start getting sick so I can get better! Let’s do this thang.